Being a Fan and Secondhand Embarrassment

This is a something that myself, and many other undercover fans who lead successful social lives IRL, have become familiar with: the issue of secondhand embarrassment.

Let’s look at this terminology for a second: embarrassment, or “the feeling of self-consciousness or shame”, and secondhand, meaning “received from or through an intermediary,”or indirect. I first heard this term used by one of my best friends (if not my ‘one BFF to rule them all’), and could immediately identify the feeling she was talking about—the feeling of embarrassment, or even shame, for another person.

I know this sounds kind of harsh (or maybe I’m just sensitive), but you should see some of these kids. The people I usually reserve this feeling for tend to be fans of anime, or Japanese animation. For some reason, some of these fans can be extremely obnoxious—in my experience, they tend to congregate and then are especially vocal about their obsessions with a particular series, and it’s just… annoying. I honestly can’t tell you why this particular brand of fan gets on my nerves, besides being unnecessarily loud.

Actually, now that I think about it, perhaps what would be general annoyance towards the volume switches to embarrassment when I hear the subject matter these kids are borderline-yelling about it. Maybe it becomes clear that these kids are fans (and when I say fan, I don’t mean someone who mildly appreciates a particular cultural media product, I mean someone who is largely invested in that product, devotes large amounts of time to being a fan, consuming the product, discussing the product, trying to promote and share the product, etc.), which means that I inherently, intrinsically have something in common with them—which is what embarrasses me. I mean, one the one hand, I identify with them, for being so passionate about whatever it is they’re passionate about but on the other, I’m like… dude, get a grip. You’re in public.

UGH, it’s such a complicated feeling, I’m getting frustrated now just trying to describe it. On another level, maybe I’m even, to a degree, I don’t know—envious of them? For being so passionate about whatever they’re into, and not caring that they look absolutely ridiculous to almost everyone else? Like, those kids that wear those dopey metal Naruto headbands on their heads. That is just the worst. You see that and you’re like, oh man, please go take that off. But who the eff am I to decide what someone should or should not wear? How is wearing the dorky metal headband any different from wearing a big, abrasive Iron Maiden T-Shirt? Is it just that the metal and punk rock kids have culturally been around for longer (over 40 years now, since the 70s at least), that that sort of display is acceptable, whereas kids seriously dressing up like I don’t know, an orange ninja (I am really unfamiliar with the series, I apologize for the blatant inaccuracy and ignorance) makes me and other fans—even of that particular series— cringe in dismay?

I see these kids and internally I’m just like, WHY ARE YOU REPRESENTING US IN THIS WAY. YOU ARE THE REASON SOCIETY LOOKS DOWN ON ANYBODY WHO ENGAGES IN FANDOM.

These are the same dorkoids who embrace the Japanese term “otaku,” which is in its original form actually an extremely negative term, used to describe somebody that is obsessed with a particular media product (usually comic books, anime series, or video games) to the detriment of their social skills, staying at home all the time instead to indulge in these obsessions. In Western culture, this term has taken on a new meaning, and is used by self-proclaimed “otaku” simply to describe people who like Japanese media products such as anime, manga, etc.

I think this has to do with the fact that the concept of "shame" simply does not exist anymore in American culture, which is all about individualism, being liberated, etc. Consequently, instead of being ashamed of their “otaku” status, these kids wear their colors proudly (even if it is, bright, freaking, traffic-cone orange), and do so together—the internet and online participatory culture making this possible, of course.

There actually used to be a blog devoted entirely to the feeling of secondhand embarrassment caused by these kids but it’s been taken down. Basically it was a site where people could submit their horror stories encountering these kinds of overly enthusiastic fans, and it got super popular because it was really kind of hilarious, but I'm sure it elicited an uproar from those very fans and the moderator got fed up and would rather shut it down than deal with all the internet chaos and noise directed at him/her for it.

But don’t worry! This is a phenomenon starting to become recognized in mainstream culture as well. SNL has a now recurring segment that depicts this breed of fans at their worst.

In a blog post entitled "J-pop America Fun Time Now is Terrifyingly Authentic,"  one self-identifying anime fan reviewed the first airing of the segment:

Saturday Night Live ran a skit this weekend making fun of insane, obsessed-with-a-very-particular-vision-of-Japan anime fans -- I mean, how many viewers could be even be familiar enough with anime fans to get half of what the hell they're doing? -- but I would like to say this skit isn't funny, it's a 100% accurate recreation of the most obnoxious portion of anime fandom. Now, I love anime, and I love anime fans. But I've been to many, many anime cons, and there is literally nothing in this video that I haven't seen done by white, Midwestern Americans in utmost seriousness with my own eyes. Watching this video was like my own personal 'Nam flashback.

I couldn't agree more, though I will say for me it has nothing to do with fans being Caucasian or Midwestern or whatever, but just the absolute level of ridiculousness of their behavior a lot of the time. Really, cringe-worthy stuff.

Thank god the last anime I was into was on Cartoon Network on Toonami (yeah, remember that?) when I was still in middle school.